Total Recall

Total Recall – 118min – PG-13

If you were to take DNA samples from Blade Runner, I,Robot , Minority Report and the original Total Recall, splice them together with a dry political plot and give the filmmaker a lot of money you get today’s version of Total Recall. It felt like a studio gave a fan boy a big budget and he made a blockbuster level fan film. There are many flashy effects and action parts interspersed with long stretches of back story to carry you along. Now from a sci-fi action standpoint it does what it advertises, but overall it’s a yellow light.

The movie starts out with an injured Collin Farrell in a hospital trying to escape with a mysterious woman (Jessica Biel). SNAP he wakes up in bed. He is Douglas Quaid, a factory worker that has been having this reoccurring dream for a long time. He is married to Lori (Kate Beckinsale), an emergency responder. They live in a hovel of an apartment and barely scrape by. Life is getting Douglas down and he is having trouble sleeping because of the dreams so he goes to a place called ReKall to have some memories implanted to numb the pain of a bleak existence. It turns out he has already had his memory altered and his attempt at changing his memory triggers a police raid that kicks off a poorly paced action movie.

The differences from this and the original are primarily two main changes. First off, no Mars and no mutants, it all takes place on Earth. The world has gone through a war and the planet is completely unlivable except for two locations: Great Britian and Australia. The second is Lori Quaid is no longer shot in the head as she tries to convince Douglas to choose reality. She is a highly trained operative that chases Douglas throughout the movie. It's good to be married to the director.

Len Wiseman, who is famous for his Underworld franchise, directs this movie like a love letter to all the sci-fi movies that he has ever loved. He elbow pokes the viewers in the ribs with his heavy handed call backs to the original movie. I have a sore spot from where he hit me and giggled ”See that? See what I did there?”

The science in the movie is flawed and the political plot line is stale but the action is top notch. If you enjoy the genre and don’t look at the in-between parts, it does do well as an eye candy film. The hover cars and the robot chases are good. Bokeem Woodbine is way under-used as the factory worker buddy who warns Douglas off of Rekall. He has plenty of untapped potential and they missed out on giving him more to do in this film. He could have been much better than a Sharon Stone stand in.

Bill Nighy brings his “A” game like always but this time they only gave him a small part. John Cho also has a bit part, but owns what he has.

Spoiler warning!!! Only deep cover double agents that have been brain washed beyond this point!!!!

Ok, I am a fan of breasts and I have no problem with someone having three of them. I found no reason for them to throw in a three breasted prostitute in this film just because they had one in the other film. The reason she had three in the other film was because of the mutations. There were no mutants established in the story so there was no reason she was there. But she did look nice. I am not giving up my man card.

Having the main character start out in the “dream” laid down the groundwork that this was not real and the dream was reality. There was absolutely no doubt that the life he was living was a cover and his choices did not leave the viewer questioning anything he did. In the original you were left with a question of was it real or not?

Having a pipeline that connected Great Britian and Australia was way too much of a stretch for me. They started off with that gem of a hurdle to try and get past. Then having the humongous elevator to get from one side of the world to the other was just silly. Especially the scene where they shifted gravity. It looked cool, but I would have been pissed off if a person’s coffee mug or their car keys, or a book floated around and hit me in the head on my morning elevator ride. Seriously why are there objects floating around the cabin, are all these people new to this trip? Did no one hear the foreshadowing announcement that said gravity is going to shift?

What Philip K Dick story would you like to see on screen or do you think they should rehash Blade Runner next? 

The Watch

The Watch – 101Min – R

I so wanted this movie to be good, it has some really talented actors in it but unfortunately it fell flat. I was hoping that a great alien comedy in the style of Shaun of the Dead was on its way and it turns out to be more of a long infomercial for Costco from the Sci Fi channel. The main problem was that the trailer takes all of the wind out of the funny parts of the movie. I appreciated some aspects of the movie but overall it’s not worth the time it takes to get to them. In hoping that this movie was at least a yellow light it disappointedly falls squarely into the Red light category. Too bad movies don’t have as flexible a return policy as Costco does, because they need their money back. No questions asked.

Evan (Ben Stiller) is a manager of the local Costco. He spends his time making sure that his life is full of activities because he incredibly involved with his community. One of his employees dies a gruesome death and he now makes it his personal mission to find the killer. He organizes a neighborhood watch and gets three other interested parties. Franklin (Jonah Hill) a police academy wash out, Bob (Vince Vaughn) a mostly single dad who has a kick-ass man cave and Jamarcus (Richard Ayoade) the token black guy in Evans personal goal of having one of every race as a friend.
They set about looking for the killer and uncover an alien plot to build a transmitter under the Costco and bring in an invasion force. The boys work together to stop the invasion and still work on personal issues in their lives.

The movie falls short on delivering one clear story. The characters are fighting the huge invasion and also distracted by their own lives. The time it takes to fully develop the secondary stories takes away from the main plot line and doesn’t give us any insight into the motivations of the characters, which I think is the only reason they were added.

Akiva Schaffer has made me laugh with his work on SNL and other projects but this one somehow seems to be lost in its own need to belabor the story with long stretches to get from one funny bit to another. The funny parts don’t string together in a way that tells a good story.

Richard Ayoade is one of the funnies actors I have seen in a long time, he has an excellent grasp of the straight man and his comedic timing is spot on. Vince Vaughn is doing what he does best being the loud guy that has no filter to check to see if he should be saying what he is saying. This time they added some personality to him as a caring father and it works really well. He is loud rude and a bull in the verbal china shop but it plays well.

Ben Stiller seems to be just walking through the parts and not focused, he lost his stride on the string of Focker movies and has not gotten it back yet. Jonah Hill does not do anything new, he has an edgy character but he only delivers the lines like he did on every other character he has played.

Spoiler Warrning !!!! Only humans beyond this link!!! Click here to see the spoilers!!!!

Evan is not a likable character, he is keeping from his wife that he is sterile. She is trying everything to make sure they have a baby and he keeps her in the dark. Bob is right that he needs to tell her but this subplot does nothing for the story other than paint Evan as a jerk.

 Bobs relationship with his daughter was great, dysfunctional but great. It worked for the character and made Bob’s brashness bearable because his heart was in the right place.

The guest appearance by the Lonely Island crew was funny and again they are obsessed with their dicks. I should have known that as the director of this movie, Akiva would have made the penis the weak point of the aliens. I have never been a fan of dick jokes, and if you are going to use them at least make them witty.

What do you want from a comedy? What movie have you wanted to be good and it turn out not to be.

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen - Posted on News Blaze

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen -  107 min - PG13

This is a movie that you can enjoy if you are in the mood for a film that highlights the differences in cultures and in people of the same culture. You can see my  review here